


a most dangerous plaything

by murdershewrote



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Character Study, Female Obi-Wan Kenobi, Gen, Jedi Code, Misogyny, Sexism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-01 23:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8643133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murdershewrote/pseuds/murdershewrote
Summary: In a universe with a sharper gender divide, Obi-Wan Kenobi is born a girl. 
(Or, thirty-two snippets of a life.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd. Warnings for: canonical character death, mentions of child abuse, unhealthy relationships, misogyny, gender roles, social conditioning, suicidal ideation, general trauma, war. 
> 
> Title from Friedrich Nietzsche: “The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.”
> 
> Incorporates some elements of EU canon.

**22.**

Obi-Wan doesn’t say anything to Anakin, on Mustafar. When has a man ever listened to her anyway?

 

**2.**

_Don’t react_ , she is told, when Bruck Chun pinches and taunts. _Boys will be boys_ , they say, and _good girls don’t get in fights_.

 

**9.**

She is twice as a good of a negotiator as her master but receives only half the praise, because she is a girl and talking is what they do.

 

**24.**

The realization that the Chancellor is a Sith Lord and that the war had been a farce does not break Obi-Wan, because she has been betrayed before and nothing a man does can surprise her anymore.

 

**8.**

_My light in the Darkness,_ Qui-Gon calls her, when her goodness and purity are the only things that stop him from avenging another woman whom he loved and idolized.

 

**14.**

_And how is your new mistress?_ Senator Palpatine asks a young Anakin. _What a pity Master Jinn died. He certainly wouldn’t put up with the Council’s nonsense. Though, I suppose we can’t blame young Obi-Wan, can we? After all, nature dictates such things._

 

**28.**

Obi-Wan goes out and fights, using her own name, refusing to hide. For too long she has been silenced and there is vindication in her placement at the top of the _Empire’s Most Wanted List._

**20.**

Ahsoka is framed and Obi-Wan tells her to run and not look back, thinking longingly of the time she too almost escaped.

 

**19.**

_The Hero Without Fear_ they call Anakin, while _The Negotiator_ is Obi-Wan’s title, because _Heroine_ is far too long and boring.

 

**29.**

Obi-Wan has female friends for the first time, confidants, in Mon Mothma, Ahsoka Tano, Breha Organa, and the hundreds of other women who are as integral to the Rebel Alliance as the men.

 

**5.**

Her temporary defection on Melida/Daan is not a surprise to her teachers, because of course a teenage girl would get caught up in her emotions, would fail to see the bigger picture all true Jedi are dedicated to, of course she would fall in love. (Nevermind that Cerasi was not her lover, nevermind the relationship between Jinn and Tahl.)

 

**7.**

Bruck Chun attacks her and she forgives him and tries to save him because that is expected of her. Obi-Wan is almost jealous of Bruck when he chooses to fall over the waterfall and die rather than bow to another.

 

**13.**

Obi-Wan mothers Anakin like she did her master, weathers his tantrums and rides out his angst, knowing as she does so that her efforts will never be rewarded.

 

**21.**

A Jedi Mistress could not save Padme, but a Sith Lord could. Vader does not blame Obi-Wan for her weakness; after all, it is only her nature. It is not her fault she could not overcome her biological limitations.

 

**17.**

Female masters do not get female padawans but Obi-Wan does everything she can to help Ahsoka, young and fierce and full of life in a way Obi-Wan can only dimly remember.

 

**4.**

Obi-Wan is supposed to take care of her new Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, to soothe the hurts from his past, to be wife and daughter and mother all in one. (There is nothing she will not do to keep this, her last chance.)

 

**18.**

There’s a war on, and sometimes the temptation to just stop – stop dodging blasters, stop pushing through injuries, stop _fighting_ – is nearly overwhelming.

 

**25.**

Obi-Wan doesn’t go into exile on Tatooine because running and hiding has never solved anything, and she has no desire to be burned as a witch.

 

**12.**

The Council lets Obi-Wan keep Anakin, because she is soft and young and will leave plenty of room for outside influence.

 

**27.**

Luke is raised by the rebels because Obi-Wan refuses to be forced into the role of motherhood once again.  

 

**23.**

Obi-Wan kills Anakin because she has a lifetime of practice doing things she doesn’t want to, and because she knows all about necessity.

 

**11.**

Her master’s last words to her are _save Anakin, and train him_. Obi-Wan’s tears have never tasted so bitter.

 

**3.**

The Unifying Force is for women and the elderly; true Jedi focus on the Living Force, the here and now, and do not dwell on past mistakes or future fears. ( _You worry too much,_ they patronize her, as if she does not see a thousand wars in her sleep.)

 

**15.**

Obi-Wan is too selfish to warn Padme of the constricting danger of a man’s love, too relieved that Anakin has found someone else to latch onto and suck dry.

 

**10.**

Her master casts her aside for the Chosen One, and she accepts this and backs him in front of the Council. After all, she should be glad she got to train under Master Qui-Gon at all, and of course he knows best.

 

**16.**

Mando’a has no gendered words and the clones were raised among brothers: they have virtually no understanding of gender or gender roles and Obi-Wan loves them for it. ( _Sir_ has far more power than _Madame General_ or _Jedi Mistress_.)

 

**26.**

Obi-Wan gives Leia to the Organas because Alderaan is matriarchal and she refuses to let one more baby girl grow up silenced like she did.

 

**31.**

Sidious is killed and the Empire falls but that does not mean Obi-Wan allows herself to fade away. There is always work to be done. There will always be another man who wishes to rule the galaxy.

 

**6.**

Obi-Wan learns to pack it all in, her emotions and ideas, to listen to her master and the Council. She is obedient and unobtrusive, the perfect padawan, a paragon of womanhood. (She breaks and she breaks, cutting off bits of herself to better fit into the box they fashioned for her.)

 

**30.**

Obi-Wan doesn’t die on the Death Star because she already killed Vader and dying is the same as admitting defeat. (There is no motivation greater than spite.)

 

**1.**

The baby doesn’t even have a name when it is given up, because girls aren’t worth the effort and don’t live long anyway.

 

**32.**

Little Ben Solo hears stories about how his grandfather went Dark and his namesake slew him where he stood and decides he wants to be just like her when he grows up.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feelings about girl!Obi-Wan. Hopefully I didn't skip any numbers. The spacing still bugs me, but I've been fiddling with this for months so whatever, it's done now. 
> 
> Please point out any grammar/spelling errors and let me know if I need to warn for anything else.
> 
> Blanket permission for transformative works and collections. 
> 
> I'm on [tumblr.](http://murdersshewrote.tumblr.com)


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